![\"Dad](\"\/yahoo_site_admin\/assets\/images\/Cam_and_Dad_1967.3092332_std.jpg\")
<\/p>\nHow do you measure a life? There\u2019s achievements, family, friends, material wealth. Maybe you can count the impact you\u2019ve made in all those areas. Since I was 15 years old, I\u2019ve measured life as 46 years, 338 days. That\u2019s the number of days my dad walked this earth. And today, I\u2019ve lived one day longer.<\/p>\n
But lifespan is only one way you can measure the time we spend amongst our fellow human beings. I measure his life in what he taught me by example. Many of us idealize our dads, but think I had much more time than most to do so.<\/p>\n
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My dad was born in Detroit in 1935, during the depth of the great depression, the 3rd of 10 children born to Percy and Isabel. I learned to count to 10 by naming my dad and his siblings. I know a few of the stories of his early life. He was born on October 2nd, while his mom was in labor desperately asking for the score of the Tigers \u2013 Cubs game, Game 1 of the World Series. (The Tigers lost 3-0). His hair was so blond he was nicknamed Frosty. If he wandered away from home, his mom knew she could find him nearby, listening to elderly neighbors tell stories to him. He was chased, and \u2018goosed\u2019 by a goose the neighbors were keeping as a pet and possibly for food.<\/p>\n
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His family moved to south Florida in 1945. He ran the streets with his brothers and friends, and occasionally got into trouble but nothing serious. He learned about auto mechanics at his dad\u2019s auto repair garage. As he grew, he grew quickly, topping out at 6\u20193\u201d and earning sloped shouldered posture. I had a similar growth-spurt but only made it to at 5\u201910\u201d. However, I earned the same set of shoulders. He was recruited to play basketball for Miami Jackson high school, and still threw a standing-set shot when he played with my brothers and me years later.<\/p>\n
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After high school, he moved back to Detroit to live with an uncle, Uncle Gordon, who became a third grandfather in my life. He started working with the phone company and was partnered up with another man who became an uncle, Uncle Pete. Dad called him \u2018the old man\u2019, because he was 3 or 4 years older than him. This was when they were both in their early 20\u2019s. Uncle Pete\u2019s still in my life. Once, after my dad passed away, one of his brothers, my Uncle George, was talking about family to me. He said, \u2018nothing\u2019s closer than family, except your dad and your Uncle Pete. But that\u2019s unique in my experience.\u2019<\/p>\n
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But it wasn\u2019t unique to my dad. He married into a family of four girls, and each of my uncles on that side of the family was like a brother to him as well. His father-in-law called him \u2018The Captain\u2019, even though was a police patrolman, then sergeant. When my mom\u2019s dad passed away, I was 11 and it was the first big loss in my life. I was inconsolable. He put his arm around me and walked me around the block at the funeral home. He didn\u2019t have to say anything. His presence was enough.<\/p>\n
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That\u2019s one of the lessons my dad taught me, to have an expanded sense of family.<\/p>\n
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By the time he was in his mid-20\u2019s, he decided to join the Army. It\u2019s a decision most people make eight or ten years earlier. While his two older brothers served in Korea, and his two youngest brothers served in Vietnam, my dad spent his time as a communications specialist in Okinawa. He\u2019d spout some Japanese phrases later in life, which, along with a smattering of Gaelic in my mom\u2019s life, seeded an early interest in foreign languages in me.<\/p>\n
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He returned to the US, and now in his late 20\u2019s, changed careers once again, joining the Detroit Police Department in what I\u2019m sure was a class of teens and young 20-somethings. But he made the grade, and eventually earned Sergeant\u2019s stripes as a homicide detective.<\/p>\n
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His police partner, Jack and his family were as close as relatives during this period of his life. I recently re-connected with these folks, and it reinforced how big my dad\u2019s sense of family really was.<\/p>\n
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Following my dad\u2019s example of resilience through career change has been tough, but comforting at some pretty dark times in my life.<\/p>\n
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There\u2019s the example of service. He always carried a toolbox in the car, in case we came across someone who needed a roadside repair in the days before cellphones and easy access to AAA. We stopped in blizzards to pick up pedestrians and deliver them home safely. On one particularly snowy night, I asked him to slow down to see if I recognized who was plodding along in the snow. I didn\u2019t and said so. His response was \u2018what does that matter?\u2019 And we picked them up anyway.<\/p>\n
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He could have quick temper, and spoke so quickly that you almost couldn\u2019t understand the words. But he also had kindness. The only time I ever called him at work, at the homicide bureau, was to tell him I was quitting the football team to run cross country instead. I expected him to be angry, because he loved football. Months later, though, he was attending cross country meets. I remember seeing him as I rounded one part of a course; he had his long arms spread out holding the crowd back as I and the rest of the runners went by. He made the transition easily.<\/p>\n
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And then, there was the relationship between my mom and dad. Her story was that they met at a wedding of mutual friends, and that she was \u2018afraid\u2019 she\u2019d ask him out. But she said yes, and they started their lives together.<\/p>\n
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The shared just 20 years together as husband and wife. They struggled to have children, and then had 3 in quick succession: me and my two brothers. \u201cMy three sons\u201d, they used to say, just like the TV show.<\/p>\n
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She survived him by 14 years. What their relationship taught me was that to be successful, you have to compromise, have a great sense of humor and don\u2019t take yourself too seriously.<\/p>\n
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So as I surpass his lifespan, I know I haven\u2019t surpassed his life. I doubt I ever will. I hear his words in my life, and in how I try to live my life. On integrity: \u201cYou only have one name. Your word is your bond.\u201d Or more coarsely, \u2018don\u2019t be a sh*tbird.\u2019 Speak clearly, and say what you mean. \u201cDon\u2019t be mealy-mouthed\u201d. And of course, the baffling admonishment to a six or seven year old child: \u201cYou can mash potatoes, but you can\u2019t pee soup.\u201d<\/p>\n
I haven\u2019t made more out of these 46 years, 338 days than he did. But let\u2019s see what I can do moving forward.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
How do you measure a life? There\u2019s achievements, family, friends, material wealth. Maybe you can count the impact you\u2019ve made in all those areas. Since I was 15 years old, I\u2019ve measured life as 46 years, 338 days. That\u2019s the number of days my dad walked this earth. And today, I\u2019ve lived one day longer. But lifespan is only one way you can measure the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[22],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1396"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1396"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1396\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1397,"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1396\/revisions\/1397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cameronknowles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}